There is a critical distinction that we must make, Pilgrim. I have not stated to you any of my core beliefs. What I believe about Jesus and the Godhead is what the Bible tells us about them, including that Jesus is the Son of God, the second person of the Trinity, God made manifest in the flesh as the promised redeemer, in whom all prophesies are fulfilled, and God's plan of redemption brought to fulfillment and completion for mankind. That is what I believe.
What I have stated to you above is my EXPERIENCE of the Godhead and Jesus. And it is the very disparity between these two which is the source of my consternation. My belief is not born out by my experience. I must therefore either invalidate my own experience and perception, leaving myself destitute of confidence in my own mind and its ability to know, or I must pursue this question further and try to come to a greater understanding of God's reality. It seems you would have me settle for the former.
You say rightly that without knowing Christ, there is no way (Biblically) that I can know God or the Holy Ghost. True. So the answer must be either that I DO know Christ and somehow don't recognize that fact, or that I do not know either God or the Holy Spirit. And where does that leave me? What shall I do? Whom shall I ask? Certainly not God, who I now distrust as potentially false. And certainly not Jesus, who it has been proved that I do not know, and who does not communicate with me in any case. Suggestions?
Please don't tell me to simply study the Bible for an additional 5 years or so and maybe something will happen. Nothing has happened for the last 24 years of my torment using this method. There is some missing key, which I feel I must press on until I find. If you cannot help me here, I will continue to search.
