Savin said:
What I have stated to you above is my EXPERIENCE of the Godhead and Jesus. And it is the very disparity between these two which is the source of my consternation. My belief is not born out by my experience. I must therefore either invalidate my own experience and perception, leaving myself destitute of confidence in my own mind and its ability to know, or I must pursue this question further and try to come to a greater understanding of God's reality. It seems you would have me settle for the former.
The disparity is between what you say you know intellectually and what you claim to experience because the biblical teaching prohibits anyone from actually experiencing what you say you do. So, either the Bible is teaching falsehood or your experience, though real to you, is not of God. I'll let you decide.

You say your "belief" is not born out of experience, yet on the one hand you profess to know the OBJECTIVE truth concerning the Godhead, the incarnation, Christ as the embodiment of true truth, etc., yet on the other hand you stated that you have no need of Christ, etc. How do YOU reconcile these two statements? If Christ is truly Who He says He is, then upon what basis do you find no need of Him and even more, why would you choose to hold on to your experience, which is totally antithetical to what Jesus taught and even seek for the same type of experience with Him, which again He clearly says you will not and cannot have? No wonder you have consternation.
You continue:
You say rightly that without knowing Christ, there is no way (Biblically) that I can know God or the Holy Ghost. True. So the answer must be either that I DO know Christ and somehow don't recognize that fact, or that I do not know either God or the Holy Spirit.
1) Personally, I find to basis upon which to believe that you do know Christ, going on what you have written in these few posts. 2) I believe you have spoken truth here, that you do not know either God or the Holy Spirit.
And thus you ask:
And where does that leave me? What shall I do? Whom shall I ask? Certainly not God, who I now distrust as potentially false. And certainly not Jesus, who it has been proved that I do not know, and who does not communicate with me in any case. Suggestions?
You are left with what you began with.... God's inspired, inerrant, infallible Word which is the power of God unto salvation to everyone who believes. Finding God "potentially false" is indicative of unbelief. No one has ever found consolation in God without trusting in His word; His promise that all who come to Him, believing in Christ and repenting of their sins. Further, no one has ever come to Christ unless they have a
need of Him. Do you have a genuine sense of your guiltiness before God? Do you possess a genuine need and deep desire to be forgiven for your sins and to be reconciled to God, Who at this moment is at enmity with you? Do you despise your very life and thirst for righteousness which is only found in Christ and the transforming power of the Holy Spirit Who the Lord Christ promised will dwell within all who believe in Him? The Lord Jesus gives this infallible promise:
Matthew 11:28-30 (ASV) "Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."
You say you have no conviction of sin? You lament that you cannot conjure up faith to believe? You fail in all your attempts to find consolation in your life's quest? Then what you need to do is to get on your knees and pray without ceasing that God will grant you a new heart, confess that you are wits end and that you have sought answers in all the wrong places, and that you are helpless in and of yourself to find Him, believing that He will grant your request. For it is the Father's will to do so. (Jh 6:37, 40, 45) You must come to God in Christ with the faith of a little child and cry out, "I believe! help thou mine unbelief!". This you must do until such time as you know that a change has taken over you and you can say with some measure of confidence, God is mine and I am God's for Christ's sake. What more can you do? Well, faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of Christ. (Rom 10:17) Thus, you should by all means seek out a church where the doctrines of grace are being preached and taught faithfully. You will say, well where is such a church? I answer, submit your request in our "Church Locator" forum, and include your location. Most have found that there are some good choices to choose from in the replies that result.
If you haven't done so already, I would also commend to you these gems of wisdom to read and ponder:
Thoughts on Unbelief by Ebenezer Erskine
The Plan of God by J.I. Packer
May God grant you His infinite mercy and draw you to Himself so that you may experience that true joy, peace and satisfaction that is only found in Christ.
In His Grace,