Clint,

It looks like you're off to a good start. One thing that will help, though, is to see that you are using too many unnecessary words which slow you down and submerge the real details. For example, you have already told us what chapter we are looking at, so:
Quote
1. In chapter 2 verse 3 the author is giving the audience a command by saying “Do nothing from selfishness…”
2. In chapter 2 verse 3 the author uses the conjunction “or” showing the audience that the command is conditional.
3. In chapter 2 verse 3 the author uses the conjunction “but” to connect the first and second pieces of the sentence.
4. In chapter 2 verse 3 the author gives a second command telling the audience to “regard others…”
5. In chapter 2 verse 3 “humility of mind” describes to the audience how they are to regard others.
6. In chapter 2 verse 3 the audience is more than one person as shown with the word “yourselves”
7. In chapter 2 verse 4 the author issues another command of “do not merely look…”
8. In chapter 2 verse 4 the object of the command in the first part of the verse is the “interests” of both the audience and others.

can become:

Quote
1. In verse 3 the author is giving the audience a command by saying “Do nothing from selfishness…”
2. In verse 3 the author uses the conjunction “or” showing the audience that the command is conditional.
3. In verse 3 the author uses the conjunction “but” to connect the first and second pieces of the sentence.
4. In verse 3 the author gives a second command telling the audience to “regard others…”
5. In verse 3 “humility of mind” describes to the audience how they are to regard others.
6. In verse 3 the audience is more than one person as shown with the word “yourselves”
7. In verse 4 the author issues another command of “do not merely look…”
8. In verse 4 the object of the command in the first part of the verse is the“interests” of both the audience and others.

Next, it can be assumed that an author wrote the words, and that someone will hear or read them, so you can trim it down some more:

Quote
1. In verse 3 “Do nothing from selfishness…” is a command.
2. In verse 3 the conjunction “or” shows that the command is conditional.
3. In verse 3 the conjunction “but” to connects the first and second pieces of the sentence.
4. In verse 3 “regard others…” is a second command.
5. In verse 3 “humility of mind” describes how the hearers are to regard others.
6. In verse 3 “yourselves” shows the audience to be more than one person.
7. In verse 4 “do not merely look…” is a third command.
8. In verse 4 the object of the third command is the“interests” of both the audience and others.

Notice how, as the extra words are tossed overboard, the meaningful details become more obvious. Let's see how it looks when you're done!

In Christ,
Paul S