Theology is important. So is how we treat others.

No matter how kind Jesus was in how he healed the sick, raised the dead etc. He was still under the condemnation of the religious who couldn't understand His theology.

Personal examination is good to see if we display love along with correct theology. Then go on and continue to teach and share the truth. If someone said you shared correct theology but fell short on showing love, that would be a shame. But, if all they say is 'Tom and theology', that doesn't sound like an accusation of coldness.

This comment reveals a heart that doesn't appreciate the 'pearls' of truth in God's Word. There will always be women who love the fluff of fellowship but have no desire for the real reason for a fellowship, to promote God's Word in each others lives.
I am sure with some good teaching on that, you can guide a true lamb into a more mature attitude.

Jude 3
...contend earnestly for the faith which was once for all handed down to the saints.