Hi Neicy,

If it were me, I would not attend an unofficial meeting.

In Matthew 18, Jesus gives us instructions regarding how to handle a situation like this:

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15 “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. 16 But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. 17 If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. 18 Truly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed [6] in heaven. 19 Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. 20 For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.”

There is also a passage in 1 Timothy 5 that deals with this same issue:

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17 Let the elders who rule well be considered worthy of double honor, especially those who labor in preaching and teaching. 18 For the Scripture says, “You shall not muzzle an ox when it treads out the grain,” and, “The laborer deserves his wages.” 19 Do not admit a charge against an elder except on the evidence of two or three witnesses. 20 As for those who persist in sin, rebuke them in the presence of all, so that the rest may stand in fear. 21 In the presence of God and of Christ Jesus and of the elect angels I charge you to keep these rules without prejudging, doing nothing from partiality.

The important thing to observe from the Timothy passage is that these are Paul's instructions to Timothy, who was Paul's representative to the churches of Thessalonica, Ephesis, Corinth and Phillipi. Timothy was receiving instruction as a leader of the church in a pastoral role as to how church discipline should be handled.

As a lay-woman and member of the church, your concerns must first be taken to your pastor face to face; then if more steps are needed, the next step is to go to your pastor with two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen then it is time to take it to the church. Taking it to the church means to take it to the church Elders, who have the authority and the charge to deal with these issues from a biblical perspective.

I realize that there may be problems with the way the pastor and the Elders handle this. (You say that they are aware of the meeting. . .) Regardless of how anyone else handles this, you must approach this biblically.

There are many here who can give you much better advice and counsel than me and I hope and pray that you will receive the help you need to do what is good in the sight of the Lord in this matter.

Bless you, Neicy!

I'll be praying for you!
Kim

Trust the past to God's mercy, the present to God's love and the future to God's providence." - St. Augustine
Hiraeth