I appreciate your responses (even the "silly" one - it was concise).

I did call the pastor yesterday to discuss a few things with him - gently (sometimes I fear I am too gentle - too roundabout). He recommended a book by John Piper to me although its title now escapes me and I can't seem to find anything like what I remember its topic was so I will need to call him back.

One problem with the church that is completely an aside is that it is in the next community, and I would like to be more invested in my church than this might readily allow.

I realize my question must seem fluffy... asking others what only God can answer. I've been praying much, and I suppose, in my childish frustration with only being led a baby step at a time, I sometimes call out in the dark for someone to come get me.