I've learned a lot from all of your comments here this past week,all of you-William, Tom and Readin-thank you so much to all.

I have somewhat self elected Pilgrim and my dear Reformist friend, Joe, as my church elders despite not knowing either of the two personally. I couldn't ever love my local senior pastor more yet the soul itself seems to trust both Pilgrim and my friend Joe to an overwhelming extent from the standpoint of the Christian walk.

I will continue to stick around here to learn from all of you and am highly greatful for the opportunity. Jesus Himself knows that I will give this life in full to the point of death itself for Him, but here to date my Biblical understanding is quite limited and thus I'll stick at this until I get it right for Him through faith itself. There's been some type of battle within here in this place of faith itself from the standpoint of maintaining "Faith in faith," and that would be an understatement, but yet the heart's love for Jesus the person has been as powerful as anything could ever be from the beginning and thus I promise to stick this out.

I want nothing more but to bring this back into line for Jesus from the standpoint of the humility factor, the mindset of which is probably a bit more reflective among those having gone before us and/or in my own case, my present day elders like Pilgrim and Joe that continue to adhere to His Word in full measure despite the present day age and its countless influences w/ the technology and the way that this has changed our society.

Here then, I would sometimes be convinced that because of my age itself, I have an overwhelming level of knowledge and appreciation for the modern state of affairs among those my age, so to speak, if for no other reason than the fact I myself fell into this materialism/self centered pleasure trap in all too many ways prior to this experience w/ the Bible I'm only now coming out of.

Despite all such things, if there's going to ever be a way in this life and/or the opportunity available to help others see the full truth of these core areas in Christ Himself in faith, I will take that effort here once again until the end of this life to wherever it must go at the full cost of personal shame/humility-Jesus Himself would have known that about my soul the day I was born because the lifelong love for Him has been there since I was a child, but here today the underlying source of pressure is that I really do think those like Pilgrim and my dear friend Joe are doing this the right way for Him whereby one of the most treasured friendships I've ever had in this life, the senior pastor at my local EFCA church, here again despite the heart's intense love for both himself and his family, the "Feeling" just isn't right about everything. This doesn't my that my senior pastor friend here locally has neglected his role for Jesus-He couldn't ever mean the best and he has done more for the lost souls in this life that I could have ever dreamed of to date, but yet perhaps the overwhelming feature here is that his urgency isn't as great as my own concerning the current state of affairs.

Perhaps that's not the case for many of you here, either, but at the personal level, there's just too much about the core specifics that don't make sense to me anymore in comparison to the age and time most of you grew up in, and here then again the specific concerns involving the outer influences and the effects such may have on the human response to His grace would seem to be the driving culprit of sorts behind the heart's urgency concerning all such things.

I am of course nothing but an insect in comparison to the Lord Himself and that of His Own power concerning all of this, but yet here again perhaps then so much of this boils down to the personal will and the distinct need to determine precisely what this is all about.

The personal mindset to date is one in line w/ urgency here again, therefore-meaning, the mental portrait is that if something/anything doesn't take place soon to curb off the influences of the modern day society itself among His people, well I just can't sit back and watch this all take place and become something further than what it already has.

The heart itself says that something needs to be done, but I simply don't understand that part of things yet. The only promise that I give Jesus personally is that the moment I figure this out from the standpoint of the personal will, I would imagine that it would be the Calvinists themselves that would have the victory here because I consider you all to be my friends in this, the specific souls most representative of those having gone before us, of the former times.

Here, the EXCLUSIVE thing I'm trying to latch on to and preserve is the humility factor itself in Him. The mindset isn't about proclaiming a specific generation to have been better than this or that one-the sin nature has been there from the beginning, of course.

Nonetheless, this would seem to me to have all but gone too far out of control here in the 21st century life, this to the extent by which so much of this seems to be offically out of control and what I've been keying in on from the beginning is that "Self empowerment" factor that seems so exclusive to the modern generation itself in the sense of its power portrayals in comparison to the historical portrait of the faith and those souls having been part of it.

The gut instinct here in this place is one of protection along the lines of the personal efforts, but I don't understand that part of things just yet. The only thing I understand about myself to date is that I see something substantially different between the Pilgrim's and Dobson's in this world, and here today w/o knowing either of them personally I would, in the blink of the eye itself, grab hold of Pilgrim before Dobson and explain why I did such a thing to Jesus Himself in the next life. In the meantime, however, the confusion level itself prevents me from understanding the heart's testimony itself about this.

Furthermore, despite being a college graduate, the vast majority of those posting here clearly display a level of intelligence well beyond the framework of anything I was ever taught in college. Here then, there is so much yet of what most of you write about I still can't grasp spiritually, and that part then I just don't understand yet, either.

All considered, I just pray and hope that the Lord Himself will make sense of all of this in due time in accordance with His will. In the meantime, I suppose the only thing I have to hold on to is the heart itself, but here too, the personal relationship w/ Christ remains so childlike in nature.

Regarding the soul itself, I couldn't ever possibly be more home with that place in Him but yet if He needs me to do something beyond that and/or continue reading on, so to speak, I'll do that until all of His children are brought home to Him in safety and I'll give this life to see to that.

In the meantime, here again there is such extensive confusion about this I can't begin to describe it, and this presses forth despite what I believe have been genuine prayers concerning such. The only option I suppose is to wait on the Lord Himself, Christ personally, to make sense of the personal experience.

Last edited by olpo25; Sun Sep 28, 2008 12:54 AM.