Now, being "uncharitable" can mean many things including refraining from exposing sin in another brother's life.
Yes I agree, however sometimes how we say things can have a bearing on whether or not someone will take our concerns seriously.
I have been guilty at times of saying the truth in a way that seems more self righteous, than genuinely caring for them.
It really didn't matter that my motives were correct; I just didn't say them in a way that came across properly.
Over the years, I have listened to quite a few Reformed teachers/preachers and for the most part they all were in basic agreement about doctrine. However, I can tell you that some of them I have come to respect the way they communicate these truths. They are very gifted in the area of humbly showing truth in a way doesn't unnecessarily attack the individual. Instead they state truth uncompromisingly, yet in a way (as an example) that shows what the Scripture says on an issue and asks them if their actions line up with this.
Yet on the other hand, there are some that although stating truth, what comes out more strongly than the truth, is what seems like a condemning attitude.
Let me share something that happened to me a few years ago, where I let the Word of God and the Holy Spirit do the convicting, rather than anything else I said that might get in the way.
I was having a conversation with someone who had made a comment something to the effect of: "It is not my fault God made me gay".
Since this person mentioned God, I asked him if he believes the Bible is the inspired Word of God. When he answered yes, I then asked him if he would answer a few question related to Scripture passages. One of these passages I asked him to exegete was from Romans chapter one where it talks about homosexuality. His answers were all in keeping with the context of the Scriptures themselves and I am happy to say that over the next few weeks of talking, he repented and the weeks following he set out to repair some of the damage his lifestyle had caused. On a sad note to this, his wife left him, but he told me that he was ok with it, because at least now he could live with himself and walk with God.
We continued to converse for almost a year and if I a good judge of character, I saw a huge change in this man. Unfortunately, for whatever reason I lost touch with this man. I still think and pray for this man when I remember.
I have to say that although I believe God used me to reach this man. I think I learned at least as much about myself and the attitude I want to be consistent with, as I was able to help him.
I am not always consistent, but at least now I have a reference point in which to return to.
I could have gone with gun a blazing, but I doubt it would have had a positive affect; either where I am concerned, or he is concerned.
Tom
