Hey, I know it is hard to tell in a format such as this, but it would seem that you think I am some how in danger of being duped by this pastor.

Such a thought never entered my mind.
Your understanding of this man's position is correct, at least in part. He does deny that faith and repentance are the fruit of regeneration but occur prior to regeneration. In this, he is in error. He is guilty of eisogesis in his understanding of all the texts he uses to support that regeneration follows faith. The texts he is referencing are speaking about the new life that springs FROM regeneration and NOT regeneration itself as if regeneration was restricted to the imparting of faith. The Bible and all the Reformers and Puritans understood, and I believe rightly, that regeneration is the imparting of new life that affects the entire person; mind, emotions, will and body. Believing is the natural expression of a person's mindset and affections as it reaches out to the object which it loves, trusts and depends, i.e., God and Christ. Although this radical transformation, the recreation of the soul is a one-time act of the Holy Spirit, its effects continue and increase, i.e., one's faith/believing gets stronger and one's repentance becomes deeper and more frequent as the sin within is perceived.
Arminians/semi-Pelagians use the same argument this man uses against Calvinism, more specifically against the doctrine of Total Depravity. They argue that it is silly to believe that a dead man is given new life enabling him to believe and then have a second new life afterward. They are seeing "life" occurring after faith, which they too consider to be 'regeneration'.
Lastly, his argument re: John 3:3 on "seeing" is anything but convincing. It really doesn't matter what the "seeing" is because the point is that the new birth must occur first before anything that is related to the kingdom of God/Christ can be even understood. There are far too many texts which speak of regeneration as being the life from which faith and repentance flow to argue otherwise. There are but a few texts which use the actual word regeneration, but likewise, the word Trinity doesn't appear in Scripture either. The essence of regeneration is what is to be understood from the various phrases used in Scripture to describe it, e.g., "new birth", first "resurrection", "made alive", "born of God", et al. John 1:12,13 should be clear enough on this point that faith follows being "born of God", which is exactly what Jesus is teaching Nicodemus in more detail.
So, historic Calvinism teaches that there is a radical transformation of the soul (mind, emotions and will) from which faith flow in regeneration. The entire predisposition of a sinner must be changed else repentance and faith simply cannot exist, never mind be exercised (believe). The links to the articles I supplied were to help you grasp better what Calvinism teaches concerning "Irresistible Grace" and where regeneration fits in with it vs. what this man is positing... in error, obviously.
And finally, IF you do not own a copy of
[i]The Five Points of Calvinism: Defined, Defended, Documented[/i], by Steele and Thomas (P&R Publishing) then BUY IT! You will find this little work indispensable for your own understanding as well as being a very valuable resource. You can also find it online here:
Google Books.
