Cecil,
In reply to:
Friends, I have a situation I don't know how to deal with!

Last year my wife was asked to serve as a deacon (at our PCUSA church) and she declined to do the job after talking with me about it.

Obvioulsy now your wife is not in agreement with your view on this topic. First go to the Scriptures and be sure you know what you believe and why. I have two questions for you.

1. Didn't you know you were attending a church that goes against the teaching of Scripture regarding requirements for office bearers? Surely you were exposed to this practice while attending this church. Weren't you uncomfortable with this practice and the teaching in this church.

2. How did your discussion with your wife go regarding your position on women office bearers? Did you show her what the Scripture teaches? Was this issue resolved at this time and she later changed her position or didn't she agree with you right from the get go?

The rest of your post tells me that you have some thoughts about where your wife could or should be serving in the church but it appears that she either doesn't agree with you, doesn't understand your position, or both.

In reply to:
]What are the things I should try to *calmly* say to my wife? to my church, if anything? And what do I do if either one ignores me altogether?!!!

First of all know what you believe and communicate it to your wife and then to the elders. It's a bit more difficult now that she's been elected to the office of deacon. However unless you make it clear that Scripture opposes this practice and that you will not allow her to serve in this capacity you've failed as the spiritual leader in your home. I would find it very difficult to remain a member in a church that allows this practice.

In reply to:
Also, is there a good article or resource here/elsewhere that would help us?

The Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood has some helpful Questions and Answers dealing with this topic. I hope you find them helpful.

May God bless you as you study this topic, communicate with your wife, and address this issue with your church.


Wes


When I survey the wondrous cross on which the Prince of Glory died, my richest gain I count but loss and pour contempt on all my pride. - Isaac Watts