Kalled,
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And if the day comes where someone comes to me because their baby dies, I will trust that God will give me the words that will bring the person the most comfort at the time.
I think that this is the real issue here. What do we say to comfort a parent who has lost their child or their baby?
I think the "age of accountablity" teaching comes from this need to offer some comfort to grieving parents. Even the Canons of Dort seeks to offer comfort to the Christian parents of children who die in infancy.
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Article 17
Since we are to judge of the will of God from His Word, which testifies that the children of believers are holy, not by nature, but in virtue of the covenant of grace, in which they together with the parents are comprehended, godly parents ought not to doubt the election and salvation of their children whom it pleases God to call out of this life in their infancy (Gen. 17:7; Acts 2:39; I Cor. 7:14).
I've also thought of those things about God's judgement on the world in Noah's day and have to believe that if any babies were elect, they would have been rescued with Noah and his family. Every nation but Israel belonged to the Devil, and many even in Israel were lost. We pity babies in their helplessness and it is hard for us to really believe that they have in their hearts seeds of every kind of evil. I don't think anyone could read the OT accounts of child sacrifice without feeling horror, or think of all the millions of babies who die without hoping they will somehow have a chance for life. I know, too, that we are all born in sin and if God sent all of us to hell He would still be just. I know godly men and women do disagree about what happens to infants dying and no one will know this for sure until we enter into glory to see how many saints have been saved when they were small children or infants who died so young. What could a pastor say at a baby's graveside service without going beyond what is written?