I am new to this web site and relatively new to Reformed Doctrine. I have been a christian for 35 years. I was raised in an agnostic jewish home. Since I was a small child I knew God was with me. I could feel Him and was comforted by what I His felt was His love and protection. When I was about 20 I wanted to kill myself, as I put the knife to my wrist that voice of my childhood said, "No! Don't do it! Your answer is Jesus". Now I had never heard the gospel and had never opened a bible so I didn't really know what it was all about other than knowing a few catholics growing up. Seemed a lot of weird nonsense to me. I went to a person I knew of at the time who was a chaplain on a ship. I went to his office and asked him to tell me who is this Jesus other that some weird jew of long ago. He gave me a bible and thus began my journey. I said all this to ask something that has troubled me off and on. When I met Him it was or felt like the same God I knew in my heart of my childhood only I didn't know His name or His plan. How can this be if He is not able to fellowship with us until we are born again? I would love to ask someone I know here where I live but there are no reformed churches near me, (although we are soon moving).
Also while I have you... Doesn't Revelation seem like it says in some places (chapter3 vs 5) that it depends on our works? I love calvinisim. It is so freeing and fills me with awe at the thought He chose me and will keep me, but I get little nagging fears it is too good to be true, like when I read revelation 3-5. Thank you for your time if you care to answer me.