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If I were in that particular conversation, rather than be drawn into a debate over hypothetical cases of who is saved and who is not, I would approach it from the basis of the finished work of Christ. Others would do it differently.

You needn't apologize for being right.

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I was not suggesting that there was no place in the life of believers for self examination.

Self-examination is a good thing. By self-examination we learn how far from the mark of perfect holiness we are. We should never look for our assurance of salvation in the very thing that condemns us.

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However, the foundation for assurance is in Christ and not our performance and until that is established, looking at ourselves and others is fruitless.

Right again! Only when we have despaired of our own efforts are we prepared to receive the grace of Christ.