Lacknothing,
Have you received the clarification you were seeking? I have read all the posts on this thread. If you still can't see the TRUTH it's because you have no desire for it. I somehow cannot help but think the whole problem lies in the third sentence of your original post. There you stated "For some reason I can't get my heart to accept the predestination theology". When you figure out the reason why your heart can't accept this Blessed Truth I think you will be well on your way toward the clarification you seek. We all need to set aside human pride and have a teachable spirit. Have you read the article Pilgrim suggested?